Marital leadership is kind of like a dance between two partners. The man, since he is the head of the woman, takes the lead and his willing partner follows his carefully planned steps.
I once went out to a local bar and grill to listen to a well-known country band. While I was there, a mysterious stranger came up and asked me to dance. Now, I don't usually dance with strange men, but I could tell right away that this man was just looking to give me a nice little spin around the dance floor and nothing more. So, I looked into his kind eyes and said, "Yes, sir, I would love to dance!" The song the band was playing was just right for the cowboy swing and I was pretty sure that was the dance that this cowboy had in mind. Now, I don't know the cowboy swing by heart or anything close, really, but just like anything else in life, if you have a great leader and you're willing to follow, you can go places. So, soon enough we were swinging our way around the dance floor. I had to trust that man right away, and sort of give myself over to his rhythm. It turns out he was quite the dancer and certainly easy to follow. We probably didn't look like Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire, but we had a grand time and because he was such a great leader, I sure would have danced with him again.
Leadership is about guidance and has nothing at all to do with control. But to guide someone you must (a) know the steps (where you are going) and (b) be a partner that is trustworthy enough that others want to follow.
Now that cowboy and I cut quite a rug together, but he would have looked pretty silly out there with nobody to swing and I would have looked equally amusing if I have tried to take the lead in a dance that I didn't know. It took both of us, each doing our part--him leading, me following--for that dance to come to life and really shine.
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