Do you want to be a well woman?

And Jesus said to the man, “Do you want to be well?” John 5:4   Of course this man, who had been crippled all of the 38 years of his life wanted to be well.  Didn’t he?  But, instead of answering this question with a decisive yes, the man by the pool began by explaining and making excuses for why he had lain there for so many years and still remained crippled. 

Doesn’t that sound like so many of us?  “I want to be healthy, but there are too many temptations, how can I eat carrots when my co-worker brought cookies”; “I want to quit smoking, but I just don’t have the willpower”; I don’t want to get a divorce, but my husband is making my life too difficult.”. 

Not long ago, God asked me this very question.  And it’s no wonder He asked.   I had spent the first 32 years of my life playing the part of the victim.  “Poor, poor, poor me!”  If I could blame those that had victimized me through the years for my faults and problems then maybe I wouldn’t feel like such a failure.  As ugly as it sounds, playing the victim gave me an excuse to fail over and over and over again.  I didn’t want to try, because trying was too hard.  

The day that I finally broke down and admitted that I could not make it alone, I went to God.  When He asked me the question, “Woman, do you want to be well?”, I answered with a resounding, “YES!”.  I was ready to be free.  Free from the victim mentality that I had come to lean on like an enabling crutch and free from my fear of being everything that God created me to be.  

So, are you ready to be a well woman?  You can start by acting like a well woman instead of the woman at the well.  You know, the one who had been married to five men and was living with the sixth that she was not married to.  She went to the well to get water in the middle of the afternoon, the hottest time of the day, when all the other women went in the morning because she was too ashamed and disliked to show her face.  She may have been labeled because of things that had happened in her life, but she retained that label by continuing to believe that was all that she was meant to be. 

Let me tell you, girlfriend; you are so much more than the choices that you’ve made, you are more than the products of your past mistakes, you are a life giving, light bearing child of God.  He made you with a perfect purpose in mind.   Let go of the fear and let God make you well and whole, so that you can fulfill that perfect purpose and bear fruit for the kingdom.    

I am no longer a victim.  I am a victor.  But I could only find that victory in Jesus.  I wish I could say that I always knew that, but I have to be honest with you; I looked everywhere else first.  Only when I hit the bottom of the well and was dying of thirst did I call out His name.  He watched me suffer and I know He cried for me as I sat and cried alone.  He waited for me and the moment that I called His name, He was there. 

Lose the Label....

Society tends to attach labels to people based upon their jobs, their families, or their actions. For example, you might know Amy, the grocery store clerk; Gabriella, the stay-at-home-Mom; or Jezebel, the bar fly. Some of these labels connected to a person can be positive, such as caretaker, or leader, others are neutral and do not bring to mind a positive or negative image. Others, though, such as bar fly or floozy have such a negative connotation that it is difficult to see past the label to the person beyond it.
Maybe, like Rahab, the Harlot in Joshua chapter two, your label accurately describes what you do and is taken from scripture or your company’s job description. Or maybe the phrase that is linked to your name is the product of the local gossip mill that won’t let you forget your past and your mistakes. The good news is that you can refuse to be characterized by that scarlet letter and be redefined by the image that God has of you. You are not limited by your past, your reputation, or your present profession. Your past limits you, lovely lady, only if you use it barricade the path of faith. God doesn’t want you to settle. His vision for your life has nothing to do with how many men you have given yourself to, what kind of car that you drive, or how well you can hold your liquor.
You might be labeled in your community or your job, or even your family, but you can refuse to be defined by this label. If you are ready to be known by more than Amy, the grocery store clerk then it is time for you to become a catalyst for courageous change. God is calling all of His leading ladies to act on their faith. He is inviting you to put your belief in motion and risk the highest stakes possible for what you know in your heart to be true. The world needs us women to start shining our light in all of the dark places without fear of what we might find there and despite those who might bully and harass us into believing that God’s truth should be kept in the shadows.
God is urging you now, because it is time for women to get assertive. Are you willing to take the risk of faith in action to see your own dreams come true? Do your dreams extend beyond yourself and your own selfish gain to include those around you? Do you ask for what you want or do you remain silent, locked into passivity and mediocrity by your own unwillingness to voice your desires? By standing for God’s plan in your life, you can plant seeds of faith in the life of those around you. It only takes one person to begin the ripple effect of positive change. As a leading lady of God you can lose the label and leave behind a legacy.

Stop Scratching for a Life and Start Soaring with a Purpose

The story is told of a man who found an eagle's egg and put it into the nest of a barnyard chicken. The eaglet hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them. All his life, the eagle did what the chickens did. He scratched the dirt for seeds and insects to eat. He clucked and cackled. He flew no more than a few feet off the ground in a chicken-like thrashing of wings and a flurry of feathers. And when thundering storms came the eagle hid in the chicken house with the other chickens.
One day the eagle saw a magnificent bird far above him in a stormy sky. He watched as the bird soared gracefully on the powerful wind currents, gliding through the air.
"What a beautiful bird!", the young eagle said, "What is it called?"
The chicken next to him said, "That's an eagle, the king of all birds. But don't give him any mind. You could never be like him." And with those words, the chicken hurried into the chicken house to get out of the storm.
The young eagle stood mesmerized by the king of the birds soaring on the winds of the storm and he knew that this was a crossroads in his life. There were two choices he could make....
Before I let you know what his choices were, I want you to understand why this story has had such a big impact in my life.
There were many things that happened in my life as a teenager and young adult that led me to believe that I belonged in a chicken yard. And the chicken yard didn't seem all that bad....at first. I had chosen the easy road. And I ran for the chicken house every time a storm rose up in my life. I was hiding. Hiding from myself and from God. Me: "Please don't make me do anything difficult--it's too hard. I just want everything to be easy." But, the only reward that came with taking the easy road, was just that....it was easy. I kept getting farther and farther from God as storms raged around me and I hid deeper and deeper in the chicken house. Me: "Who will save me! Who will rescue me! It's dark in here. And it smells pretty bad!"
I felt like I wasn't good enough most of the time and as hard as I tried I couldn't dig myself out of the hole I was in. I was afraid...and I was alone. Don't get me wrong. I was surrounded by people. I had many friends, but most of them weren't leading a christian life. They drank---a lot, they were sometimes unkind to other people, and they spent a lot of time worrying about what would make THEM happy. And I did these things right along with them. Me: "I want to be happy! Someone PLEASE make me happy....and bring me a drink!!!!"
I felt empty most of the time and I tried to fill that emptiness with all the wrong things. You see, there was a God-shaped hole in my heart and only He could fill that space and make me whole.
The good news is: You don't have to be like me, you don't have to wait until you've tried all the wrong answers to find the right one. God is wherever you are now and He loves you and wants to have a relationship with you. You don't have to go through anything alone. When you ask Jesus to come into your heart, people will show up in the path of your life that will help you to grow. But, the best part is that as you mature as a christian, you will get to be one of those people for someone else who needs you.
Now, back to our young eagle and the choice the he had to make. The first choice: He could run inside the chicken house with the rest of the chickens and return to pecking the dirt for seeds after the storm passed and die believing that he was a barnyard chicken.
OR....he could go where his heart was urging him to go and join the other eagle as he flew higher and higher on the winds of the storm.
The eagle's choice? He spread his mighty wings to their full width and the wind's current propelled him upward. He rose higher and higher until he soared into the clouds. He never returned to the chicken yard again.
Isaiah 40:31 "But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."
Ask God where it is that he wants you in this life and don't be afraid to go there. Get out of the chicken yard and soar with the eagles.

It does take two to Tango...or Swing Dance-whatever suits your fancy

Marital leadership is kind of like a dance between two partners. The man, since he is the head of the woman, takes the lead and his willing partner follows his carefully planned steps.
I once went out to a local bar and grill to listen to a well-known country band. While I was there, a mysterious stranger came up and asked me to dance. Now, I don't usually dance with strange men, but I could tell right away that this man was just looking to give me a nice little spin around the dance floor and nothing more. So, I looked into his kind eyes and said, "Yes, sir, I would love to dance!" The song the band was playing was just right for the cowboy swing and I was pretty sure that was the dance that this cowboy had in mind. Now, I don't know the cowboy swing by heart or anything close, really, but just like anything else in life, if you have a great leader and you're willing to follow, you can go places. So, soon enough we were swinging our way around the dance floor. I had to trust that man right away, and sort of give myself over to his rhythm. It turns out he was quite the dancer and certainly easy to follow. We probably didn't look like Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire, but we had a grand time and because he was such a great leader, I sure would have danced with him again.
Leadership is about guidance and has nothing at all to do with control. But to guide someone you must (a) know the steps (where you are going) and (b) be a partner that is trustworthy enough that others want to follow.
Now that cowboy and I cut quite a rug together, but he would have looked pretty silly out there with nobody to swing and I would have looked equally amusing if I have tried to take the lead in a dance that I didn't know. It took both of us, each doing our part--him leading, me following--for that dance to come to life and really shine.

Where are all the men?

The debut of the movie Courageous has me thinking about the state of our families and the need for strong leadership from our men. I thought to myself, "Where are all the men?". Sadly, they are missing from too many households. Or, if they are in the home, they are only present physically and not available emotionally to their families.
Why are men hiding and what are they hiding from?
Okay men, I understand that the world is an overwhelming place and your home is supposed to be your sanctuary, but if you only go there to watch the television and eat dinner while your wife raises your children, then what part do you play in the equation? You are capable of so much more!
Adam's great sin was his passiveness....he stood quietly by while his wife, Eve, was tempted. He did nothing to stop her from eating from the tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil and even went so far as to eat the fruit himself after he watched the entire scene play out. He had just as much information as Eve, but he didn't say anything. Not even, "I'm not sure that is a good idea, babe.", or "You heard what God said, right?". Where were the seeds of leadership that God planted in Adam's heart?
Adam was made to be the head over his woman; he was made to lead his wife.

"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of
the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." 1 Corinthians 11:3

As the head of your home you are called to live for Christ and to become more like Christ. Jesus was not a passive man. So, to lead your family you must direct them and take initiative. Jesus was full of passion and emotion. He was a man of action, not apathy. Eve's heart is yours, show her that you are a man of action and take the initiative to lead your family.
As a leader, you are also a great influencer. You are supposed to be an example to your "flock". Like it or not, your actions are an influence to your family. Your lifestyle is their greatest example. A lack of action can also take toll on your family; take a look at the lyrics to the song "Cat's in the Cradle" and you will see an example of what a father's apathy towards his family can do to his children.

Think of the beauty you can bring to your Eve's heart when you influence your family with Godly behavior. Follow the example God sets in Ephesians 5:25-27:

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless."

Love your wife sacrificially so that she blooms as God planned.

If you are a husband, God created you to be your Eve's leader. Where are you leading her?