Marital leadership is kind of like a dance between two partners. The man, since he is the head of the woman, takes the lead and his willing partner follows his carefully planned steps.
I once went out to a local bar and grill to listen to a well-known country band. While I was there, a mysterious stranger came up and asked me to dance. Now, I don't usually dance with strange men, but I could tell right away that this man was just looking to give me a nice little spin around the dance floor and nothing more. So, I looked into his kind eyes and said, "Yes, sir, I would love to dance!" The song the band was playing was just right for the cowboy swing and I was pretty sure that was the dance that this cowboy had in mind. Now, I don't know the cowboy swing by heart or anything close, really, but just like anything else in life, if you have a great leader and you're willing to follow, you can go places. So, soon enough we were swinging our way around the dance floor. I had to trust that man right away, and sort of give myself over to his rhythm. It turns out he was quite the dancer and certainly easy to follow. We probably didn't look like Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire, but we had a grand time and because he was such a great leader, I sure would have danced with him again.
Leadership is about guidance and has nothing at all to do with control. But to guide someone you must (a) know the steps (where you are going) and (b) be a partner that is trustworthy enough that others want to follow.
Now that cowboy and I cut quite a rug together, but he would have looked pretty silly out there with nobody to swing and I would have looked equally amusing if I have tried to take the lead in a dance that I didn't know. It took both of us, each doing our part--him leading, me following--for that dance to come to life and really shine.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
Where are all the men?
The debut of the movie Courageous has me thinking about the state of our families and the need for strong leadership from our men. I thought to myself, "Where are all the men?". Sadly, they are missing from too many households. Or, if they are in the home, they are only present physically and not available emotionally to their families.
Why are men hiding and what are they hiding from?
Okay men, I understand that the world is an overwhelming place and your home is supposed to be your sanctuary, but if you only go there to watch the television and eat dinner while your wife raises your children, then what part do you play in the equation? You are capable of so much more!
Adam's great sin was his passiveness....he stood quietly by while his wife, Eve, was tempted. He did nothing to stop her from eating from the tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil and even went so far as to eat the fruit himself after he watched the entire scene play out. He had just as much information as Eve, but he didn't say anything. Not even, "I'm not sure that is a good idea, babe.", or "You heard what God said, right?". Where were the seeds of leadership that God planted in Adam's heart?
Adam was made to be the head over his woman; he was made to lead his wife.
"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of
the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." 1 Corinthians 11:3
As the head of your home you are called to live for Christ and to become more like Christ. Jesus was not a passive man. So, to lead your family you must direct them and take initiative. Jesus was full of passion and emotion. He was a man of action, not apathy. Eve's heart is yours, show her that you are a man of action and take the initiative to lead your family.
As a leader, you are also a great influencer. You are supposed to be an example to your "flock". Like it or not, your actions are an influence to your family. Your lifestyle is their greatest example. A lack of action can also take toll on your family; take a look at the lyrics to the song "Cat's in the Cradle" and you will see an example of what a father's apathy towards his family can do to his children.
Why are men hiding and what are they hiding from?
Okay men, I understand that the world is an overwhelming place and your home is supposed to be your sanctuary, but if you only go there to watch the television and eat dinner while your wife raises your children, then what part do you play in the equation? You are capable of so much more!
Adam's great sin was his passiveness....he stood quietly by while his wife, Eve, was tempted. He did nothing to stop her from eating from the tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil and even went so far as to eat the fruit himself after he watched the entire scene play out. He had just as much information as Eve, but he didn't say anything. Not even, "I'm not sure that is a good idea, babe.", or "You heard what God said, right?". Where were the seeds of leadership that God planted in Adam's heart?
Adam was made to be the head over his woman; he was made to lead his wife.
"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of
the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." 1 Corinthians 11:3
As the head of your home you are called to live for Christ and to become more like Christ. Jesus was not a passive man. So, to lead your family you must direct them and take initiative. Jesus was full of passion and emotion. He was a man of action, not apathy. Eve's heart is yours, show her that you are a man of action and take the initiative to lead your family.
As a leader, you are also a great influencer. You are supposed to be an example to your "flock". Like it or not, your actions are an influence to your family. Your lifestyle is their greatest example. A lack of action can also take toll on your family; take a look at the lyrics to the song "Cat's in the Cradle" and you will see an example of what a father's apathy towards his family can do to his children.
Think of the beauty you can bring to your Eve's heart when you influence your family with Godly behavior. Follow the example God sets in Ephesians 5:25-27:
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless."
Love your wife sacrificially so that she blooms as God planned.
If you are a husband, God created you to be your Eve's leader. Where are you leading her?
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless."
Love your wife sacrificially so that she blooms as God planned.
If you are a husband, God created you to be your Eve's leader. Where are you leading her?
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